Where Have All The Friend Gone?
What happens to our friends as we grow older? And those of you who have managed to keep your deep, abiding friendships, how did you do that? Or those of you that have created new ones, how is it done?
We used to have these friends, ones you would die for, ones you could say and do pretty much anything and they knew where you were coming from and either laugh or keep you accountable.
I had a best friend in high school, a guy ( as were most of my close friends, because, well I don't care much for females in general. Explaination to follow...), whom I loved dearly. He was one of those friends that you talk to for hours on the phone, about nothing but you still seem to have a lot to say. Or we'd watch TV on the phone w/ eachother. We'd go to dances, we went to the same church, youth group, sang in the youth choir, went to the same high school...he'd eat dinner with us all the time, and my parents loved him like a son.
We started MTHS at the same time. I transferred there my junior year and he was starting his freshman year, we were at orientation together. He was really depressed all the time about school, hated going! Which I never understood because he is still one of the smartest people I've ever known. He was in the "gifted" class, and I sucked at school! You know "free spirit", or "ADD" as they call it now. I just had better things to do! He wrote my father a letter once thanking him for his humor,and our family ,that when we came into his life he was considering suicide, but we had changed his mind, pulled him out of the hole.
Anyway, we were close.
So I went to college, (from PA to IN), we stayed close. I flunked out of college, moved to VA, met new friends, one of which turned out to be my husband, we stayed close. My then boyfriend, now husband knew all about Paul*, and he knew that if he wanted to be with me, Paul* had to come with the package, and without any jealousies.
Paul became friends with my friends here, he went to college, got an internship near us, came down every weekend, was in our wedding. We even had a special dance, just the two of us.
Then we didn't see him much anymore, but he stil called me. I called him a year later to tell him I was pregnant, he told me he was getting married in the next July. We didn't hear much from him over the year until closer to the wedding. Then he'd call to nail down plans. Plans for what I don't know because I have never felt more alien than I did at his wedding! His new wife acted like I was some kind of charity case, the presence of whom she was merely tolerating.
Then his brother gets up and makes this toast about how 2 years before Paul had been to a friend's wedding and it totally depressed him. So he ( the brother) told him to come home, hook up with some "real friends" and that was when he fell in love with Yoko*!
My husband and I looked at eachother. I cried. My husband drank. It was one of the most hurtful things I have ever heard. We'd brought our 2 month old son, Paul barely noticed. Not that he had to make it a huge deal, it was his wedding day, I understand. But he could have been a little interested.
Two weeks later, my father died. I called Paul. My mom wanted him to be a pallbearer. He said he would be here. He called back a couple of hours later and said they couldn't come because they were going to open wedding presents at Yoko's parents house. WTF? Really? He could have had the decency to lie to me! We haven't spoken since. Not because I'm mad, I just got the message that there was no room for me in their world.
Here's where the homosexuals have it right, they are a loyal community! You come in with all of your oddities, all the quirks that people have given you shit for all of your life and THEY LOVE YOU ANYWAY! They celebrate those quirks and figure out a way to use them to your advantage. They're fiercely loyal! I watch Will and Grace (oh shut up it's funny) and find my self so jealous of their relationships! Why aren't Christians like that? Why didn't Paul fight for me, the way I fought for him? Will and Grace are a package deal, Ross and Rachel, the 4 sad Sex In The City sluts, all a package deal (yes I know they're TV shows! I'm not a loon) .
These are shows written by people I can only assume are non-believers. And I bet you this is one of the reasons they don't care to become one. We are told to be this to eachother, this unbreakable relationship, right? Isn't that what Jesus does for us? Why aren't we that way to eachother? Does anyone know?
We used to have these friends, ones you would die for, ones you could say and do pretty much anything and they knew where you were coming from and either laugh or keep you accountable.
I had a best friend in high school, a guy ( as were most of my close friends, because, well I don't care much for females in general. Explaination to follow...), whom I loved dearly. He was one of those friends that you talk to for hours on the phone, about nothing but you still seem to have a lot to say. Or we'd watch TV on the phone w/ eachother. We'd go to dances, we went to the same church, youth group, sang in the youth choir, went to the same high school...he'd eat dinner with us all the time, and my parents loved him like a son.
We started MTHS at the same time. I transferred there my junior year and he was starting his freshman year, we were at orientation together. He was really depressed all the time about school, hated going! Which I never understood because he is still one of the smartest people I've ever known. He was in the "gifted" class, and I sucked at school! You know "free spirit", or "ADD" as they call it now. I just had better things to do! He wrote my father a letter once thanking him for his humor,and our family ,that when we came into his life he was considering suicide, but we had changed his mind, pulled him out of the hole.
Anyway, we were close.
So I went to college, (from PA to IN), we stayed close. I flunked out of college, moved to VA, met new friends, one of which turned out to be my husband, we stayed close. My then boyfriend, now husband knew all about Paul*, and he knew that if he wanted to be with me, Paul* had to come with the package, and without any jealousies.
Paul became friends with my friends here, he went to college, got an internship near us, came down every weekend, was in our wedding. We even had a special dance, just the two of us.
Then we didn't see him much anymore, but he stil called me. I called him a year later to tell him I was pregnant, he told me he was getting married in the next July. We didn't hear much from him over the year until closer to the wedding. Then he'd call to nail down plans. Plans for what I don't know because I have never felt more alien than I did at his wedding! His new wife acted like I was some kind of charity case, the presence of whom she was merely tolerating.
Then his brother gets up and makes this toast about how 2 years before Paul had been to a friend's wedding and it totally depressed him. So he ( the brother) told him to come home, hook up with some "real friends" and that was when he fell in love with Yoko*!
My husband and I looked at eachother. I cried. My husband drank. It was one of the most hurtful things I have ever heard. We'd brought our 2 month old son, Paul barely noticed. Not that he had to make it a huge deal, it was his wedding day, I understand. But he could have been a little interested.
Two weeks later, my father died. I called Paul. My mom wanted him to be a pallbearer. He said he would be here. He called back a couple of hours later and said they couldn't come because they were going to open wedding presents at Yoko's parents house. WTF? Really? He could have had the decency to lie to me! We haven't spoken since. Not because I'm mad, I just got the message that there was no room for me in their world.
Here's where the homosexuals have it right, they are a loyal community! You come in with all of your oddities, all the quirks that people have given you shit for all of your life and THEY LOVE YOU ANYWAY! They celebrate those quirks and figure out a way to use them to your advantage. They're fiercely loyal! I watch Will and Grace (oh shut up it's funny) and find my self so jealous of their relationships! Why aren't Christians like that? Why didn't Paul fight for me, the way I fought for him? Will and Grace are a package deal, Ross and Rachel, the 4 sad Sex In The City sluts, all a package deal (yes I know they're TV shows! I'm not a loon) .
These are shows written by people I can only assume are non-believers. And I bet you this is one of the reasons they don't care to become one. We are told to be this to eachother, this unbreakable relationship, right? Isn't that what Jesus does for us? Why aren't we that way to eachother? Does anyone know?
posted by yeshua'smags at Wednesday, March 29, 2006
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